I’ve shown my meditation, live and in person, to three individuals so far. I did this in my home. All three lost consciousness within ten minutes—passed out cold during the process. One of those individuals couldn’t even remember why they were in my house when they came to, freaking out, wondering, “How did I get here?”
Now, is this a real, objective phenomenon? Or did the “I” that is “I” create these experiences? That, I do not know.
The problem is, I cannot prove you exist. Are you a separate, sentient being, or are you just an aspect of the creation? This, I do not know.
So I want to explain my theory of this meditation further, and then I want to give you a starting point for it. A walkthrough, if you will.
I’ve studied and practiced many religions along the way. When I read texts on Buddhism, the Kabbalah, Gnosticism, or Christian Mysticism, they all make sense to me. Though I might disagree with their ideas of the “end product,” they fit into my model. I can see how they could be experienced as real—at least temporarily.
But my meditation, from my experience, is a very powerful, double-edged sword. It’s cool, it’s interesting, but it can come with serious problems. I could give you a lot of examples and share a lot of stories, but I feel that would be completely pointless.
Primarily, I used this meditation to solve specific problems. But the conclusion I eventually came to is that there are no problems. It was never broken. In my quest to fix it, I broke it. Then I had to figure out a way to put it back together again.
I call my meditation Harvesting. In the old days, I saw the energetic phenomenon as a collection of Karma from previous lifetimes; I thought that by penetrating through it, I was collecting on energy that had been built up over centuries. But after practicing this for many years, I’ve concluded there is no bottom. It is simply generated. It’s endless. So now, while previous lifetimes could be possible, I can’t be certain of that anymore.
Instead, I see consciousness as an unlimited supply. It’s generated. Carl Jung called it the Collective Unconscious; I call it “The Grand Mind.” But it’s the same fundamental idea. There seems to be a way to tap into other ideas, and I conclude that is where all religions and paths come from. Individuals in the past tapped into this, it gave them an answer, and they ran with it, thinking it was the answer.
What manifested was a new religion. Ultimately, they had a psychotic episode, thought they realized God and the ultimate truth, and blah blah blah. There might be some truth to it, but it is not the truth. That’s how I came to the conclusion that “The” Truth is merely a constantly changing, everlasting, eternal relationship. It is not an idea. It cannot be defined.
There is a Bible verse, Matthew 7:24-27:
“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
In my eyes, the house is the identity. And I thought if I could just go deep enough, I could find the rock of all rocks. The truth of all truths. Well, I’ve had plenty of times where I thought I reached the bottom, but no—it’s always deeper than that. It is generated.
Anyway, if you do this meditation for a prolonged period of time, in my experience, you hit what I call “a storm.” And yeah, eventually, you find a rock to stand on. Something to hold it all together. This is how I came to the conclusion: “The greatest desire is the desire for separation.” But hitting that storm can be very uncomfortable.
So, in my eyes, this idea that you can exist without an ego, or enter into nirvana or enlightenment or whatever… from my experience, these things can be experienced as real, temporarily, but we always come back into separation.
It’s the highest preference.
“The greatest desire is the desire for separation.” In this, I’ve come to the conclusion that nothing is wrong. Nothing was ever wrong. This reality is, in fact, perfect just the way it is.
But if I say that, would anyone believe me?
The answer to that is no.
And that is exactly the way it is supposed to be.
Why? Because the greatest desire is the desire for separation. We need there to be a problem. It’s part of the perfection, part of the package—we secretly want the problem. There’s nothing wrong with it; it’s not broken. There might be a desire to change something, and changing it is good and fine, but that desire is supposed to be there. In the grand scheme of things, it’s perfect, even the process of trying to change it.
Basically, everything is fine.
Now, I’ve been doing this practice for a very long time, and I could go into all this stuff about sound, vibration, dimensions, and all those little details, but it would be completely pointless.
The thing about this exercise is that it’s like working out. The more you do it, the stronger you get. At the same time, if you take time off, you lose it, just like working out. But the more you return to it, the quicker you get back to being strong in the practice.
Starting out, it is very mild. I think just doing it for 30 minutes a week is perfectly safe—at least, I think it is. In my experience, to have the really thought-provoking experiences and to hit those significant “storms,” as I call them, you have to practice multiple hours a day for multiple weeks. It can get very intense. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, or encourage anyone to go there. Again, in my eyes, nothing is broken. Everything is fine.
That said, we still have these desires. We just want to know. We just want to poke at it, if you will.
So, we are going to start with something small.
The Walkthrough
I want you to think of something that annoys you—a mild irritation. Again, let’s start with something small. Play a memory, or think up an idea, that mildly irritates you, or annoys you.
Now… where is the sensation?
Starting out, it might be your whole body. That might be the case; it might feel like it’s everywhere.
I want you to pay attention to that sensation.
Where is it in the body?
Where is it, specifically?
…Wonderful.
Again, where is it? It might have changed spots, and if so, that’s fine. But where is it specifically?
…Perfect.
No thoughts. No mind-movies. Just focus on the energy itself.
Where is it?
…Good.
Again, bringing you back to the energy… where is it?
…Perfect.
Now briefly—just briefly—bring back the original thought or memory, just for a moment.
Now, pay attention to the sensation in the body again. Back to the energy itself.
Where is it?
…Perfect.
Again, where is it, specifically?
…Wonderful.
I want you to begin to focus on its epicenter. Like the point of a needle.
Where is the energy coming from, specifically?
…Perfect.
Again, where is the energy coming from? To that of a needle?
Get very specific.
…Good.
Now where is it?
…Perfect.
Again, where is it?
…Wonderful.
